re-start

Hey everyone - I've moved! This little kitchen journey has begun to bore me, and likely you, and so I've decided to just call it quits...here anyway! Off to another location, where I don't have to talk about just one subject. I like that more.

www.afterthoughtcomposer.blogspot.com

I'm not entirely sure what it'll be about. But in any case, it's where I'll be.

with a hand-pitted cherry on top

I just had a moment of absolute Domesticity. I hand pitted over a pound of cherries. BY HAND.

(don't they look adorable?)

I bought too many to be able to eat them fast enough, so before they went bad I thought I should do something about it so I didn't waste my dollar(s). So, I cut each one in half, took out the pit, and put the halves on some wax paper (on a baking sheet) so they freeze well, and then after that I'll put them into a freezer bag.

Ah, uselessly time consuming acts of Domesticity. You bring me joy.

To be fair, I'm a bit old fashioned in my thinking, and Domesticity - in my eyes - is viewed as a lofty role, high above all others. There are many moments where I imagine myself fitting in quite nicely to one of those cartoons depicting the 50's; the woman in her figure flattering dress and heels, mastering the kitchen as only she knows how. She is smiling and bright eyed and ready for her strapping man to walk through the door and exclaim, "Ah, sweetums! Smells de-lish!" There's a lot of laughter and sighing, and a lot of good food.

I realize that the feminist movement started because women were being forced to stay at home, and while I'm a product of that independance (and quite enjoy it), I find my roots and natural tendencies are a bit more traditional. I have arguments on both sides of the debate...gosh, why do I feel the need to defend my desire to stay at home at learn to cook? Shoot, I'll admit it. If I didn't have bills, or student loans, or rent, I would retire (yup, retire!) and spend my days at home; learning to cook, conversing with friends and having fabulous dinner parties. You'd want to come over, because I would be a master in the kitchen and my hostessing skills would be top notch! I'd also be a successful, sought after novelist and freelance writer, but that's besides the point.

wagon? ...waaagon...

I won't lie. I haven't cooked in over a month. And if you add that month to my previous post in which I confessed that I hadn't cooked in awhile either, that means that I've been doing a LOT of eating out.

Well, not all of my meals were "out"...but many of them were.

To be fair, I've spent a lot of weekends with people in town, or I've been out of town, or I've been at a retreat or visiting other people. Regardless, I haven't done much cooking even when I have been home (but to cook you need to grocery shop, and I haven't really had time to grocery shop...or to cook). Also I've had some very wonderful homemade meals that, obviously, other people have made for me. I have been eating. I just haven't been making it myself.

So I guess, in essence, my project failed. I'm not even halfway through the "year" and I've already given up on the venture (to blanket statement my feelings on the issue).

Observations? I feel about a quarter (or maybe an eighth) as good physically as I felt when I was eating only home made food. I have begun to eat a LOT more sugar recently, which - according to my brilliant theories - means that since I've been eating out so much I've likely not been getting enough proper nutrients, and so my body is not getting the proper energy, which means it craves sugar. Also, I don't like the taste of non-homemade food, and I really really really miss eating simple meals that I made myself. I miss knowing the ingredients.

phooey.

I am (in about 2 weeks time, when my crazy May/June streak comes to an end) going to go for a big grocery shop - stock my cupboards and my fridge, purge the untouched and forgotten ingredients from their current locations....and after that grocery shop, I am actually going to start cooking again. Really.

Vampires, pets…and restaurants.

This entry is going to look remarkably similar to a confession (or a really boring anecdote of my thoughts). The most prominent reason for that is: it is a confession.

First, a few pre-req’s to get us started:

#1 – I’ve been housesitting. They have animals.
#2 – I always thought I was an animal person. I now realize that I am not.
#3 – I like people who have animals. Many of my friends have animals. I like to visit people who have animals and hang out with people and their animals. Beyond that, my “likes” disintegrate.
#4 – I thought I’d be able to eat dinner with three cats on my lap. I was wrong. Psychologically, I just can’t do it.
#5 – I have been inexcusably busy this week.


Summary/Confession: I’ve been eating out since the 4th of April, almost exclusively.

Primary reaction: I failed!
Secondary reaction: hmm…I have learned some things, at least. My body hates eating out this much, for one. For two, my brain doesn’t like to think about how many chemicals I’ve probably eaten in the past week. For three; I miss my kitchen. I pine for it.
Thirdary reaction: I am SO motivated to keep not eating out (okay okay…to keep not eating out AFTER I go home on Thursday). My fervour for this wee project has grown in leaps and bounds since last week. I’m choosing to look at the positive.

…That’s all, I guess.

Oh. I almost forgot.

#6 – (and this one is unrelated to the rest, although still vitally important): I am passionately in love with a fictional vampire.

Jesus gets hungry too.

Near the office where I work, there is a "big-box" national-chain grocery store. I go here often on breaks because it is so close, and pick up the odds and ends I don’t necessarily feel like stopping for after work. Often when I go there, Jesus is sitting right outside.

Well, I don’t think her name is actually Jesus. But whenever I walk by her, Jesus calls my name.

She sits beside the crates outside the building; a feeble attempt at rain shelter, but a shelter nonetheless. She wears a forest green winter coat with the hood up over her head. Sometimes, she is reading a Bible. More often than not, I pick up my pace and fix my eyes on the doors ahead of me; “if I can just get inside, I can ignore it! Maybe Jesus will stop whispering.” Pass through the doors - ah! - relief. No more nagging conviction; just the sweet, easing medicine of Purchasing Power and excess. But as I wind my way through the aisles, and as I stare at rows upon rows of food and edible treats, my spirit always wanders back outside the doors and plants itself right beside her.

Inevitably, there comes a point when I have to leave the store. Same pattern: eyes fixed, quicked steps, self-loathing self-talk, and loud music once I get back into my vehicle...


Today I had this wicked craving for an apple (yes, an apple), but I didn’t have any at my disposal. So I decided it would be best to go and pick up a bag, so I didn’t fulfill my craving with chocolate or vending machine snacks. I broke away from my desk, hopped in my car, and took that short journey to the grocery haven. It’s cold today, and a bit drizzly, so I made sure to zip up my coat and adjust my scarf and I snuck my arms around myself to keep warm as I sped my way on foot through the parking lot.

And then I saw her.

"Dammit" I thought, "This is getting much harder to ignore."

Don’t ask me what I have against her, she didn’t do anything to me. And in fact, my philosophy in life (in speech, anyways) is that we are supposed to help the poor, and feed the hungry, and clothe the naked. And I promise you that every time I walk by my spirit is going “do something, do something, do something, do something do something do something”, but my brain is telling me what a horrible person I am for not stopping to do something.

So I bought my apples. And I picked up a few other things while I was in there. I couldn’t shake her though, not like I normally can. “Maybe you can give her an apple,” I tell myself sarcastically (all the while knowing I am defining the word ‘hypocrite’). As I left the store, I glanced over at her. She was looking right at me. I looked away but then I looked over at her again and smiled a weak smile and the weight of my grocery bags began to multiply. And then I heard it (you’ll recognize this, it’s the sound that you ignore too);

…”excuse me….”

A frail, far off sounding voice. Coming right from the Jesus sitting by my grocery store. To me.

I walked over to her, and then I stopped and looked at her…really looked at her (I’m not going to lie, up until this point in time I had thought she was a man, because she is so dark from dirt and rough from weathering).

“would you…do you have any spare change? ….for some food?...”

I didn’t. I don’t carry cash, ever. At this point I feel horrible. And I feel like I’m carrying a full grown horse under each arm.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t have anything…I don’t ever carry cash…” and then I said, very weakly, “…do you want an apple? I just bought some.”

She responded, butI didn’t hear her right away. I was too busy telling myself that she probably didn't want an apple, what a dumb thing to offer her you hypocrite. After a small delay, her response (“oh..yes, that would be so nice!”) sunk in, and I found myself kneeling on the wet sidewalk in my work clothes, my grocery bags in the shallow puddle beside me, and I am less than one foot away from this earth-wearing warrior.

Two apples, I handed her two apples. As I handed them to her, I was struck by two things:

One: her hands.
They are filthy. They are black from wrist to nail, from fingertip to palm.

Two: the apples.
They are bright. They almost glow against the darkened background of her haggard appearance.

She kept apologizing for bothering me, and despite all of my gentle words of reassurance, she would not stop apologizing. "Have a good day," I tell her, genuinely hoping that she has a good day. As I walk away from her, I am realizing quite a few things about myself, and about the situation in which I now find myself.

I can not keep her at bay. She will always be hungry, and she will likely always be there, sitting in the rain, filthy hands outstretched. And she, who is like so many others, needs people like me (and so many others), to live as a community ought to: taking care of those who can not take care of themselves. What a sickening irony, that outside a “Big Box” there should be a hungry person, unable to eat. That in one of the Richest Nation's richest areas, there should be entire neighborhoods devoted to the homeless; the weak, the frail, the hungry, the dirty, the dying – and a few blocks away there are gargantuan houses, empty rooms a plenty. In a metropolis of over a million people, should there ever be a lonely soul, a homeless child, a bed-less man?

And this is the situation in which I now find myself: reality. The reality that I have been given the ability to feed someone who’s hungry but I haven’t been doing that, at all. The reality that I claim to love Jesus but often sit on my hands and shut my eyes and tune out the voice of Him who’s given me so much (so that I might give…). And the reality that even though I gave that woman two apples, I did not give her everything I had in my hands, even though I very well could have afforded to. It’s uncomfortable; realizing that I am selfish.

Praise God that it is uncomfortable.

(...thanks Chelsea)

from the grounds up: where it starts

(well I'm sure taking my time with this one aren't I.
You love me anyway though; so it's okay.)

Where should any journey start? At the beginning.
How should any story be told? Well.

...which is why I'm going to divert your attentions to youtube; more specifically to the film I mentioned in the first of this series: BLACK GOLD.

I posted the first video here and the links for the rest of the film are below. Don't be overwhelmed by the number of links (8 in total); each part is approx. 10 minutes long. And you don't have to watch it all at once.

Before you watch it though, I want to remind you of something:

THIS MATTERS.

If you want to know why, just watch the movie. If you still don't know why after you watch the movie, post some Q's on here and I'll do my best to find the answer for you.

**note: you should be able to rent this (I have heard. But if you can't find it, ask for it!)**


Here's part one:

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

blessings,
ashley

this post is not about coffee

Inspiration comes in the funniest places!

A woman at my office was doing an “informal poll of the general population” (as I so fondly like to call them!). She was asking each of us in the area where we work what we like to eat on our salad (or if we had any good salad recipes). I was a bit caught off guard, to be honest, to be asked point blank, “What’s your favourite salad?” It took a moment or two (or three) but after I started naming ingredients I just couldn’t stop thinking about the endless lists of possibilities when it comes to a great salad. It’s been half an hour and I’m still daydreaming about feta cheese, candied pecans and mango dressing. I just finished eating my lunch, but my stomach is grumbling as if I’d forgotten about it’s existence all together.

So, since I do not have any delicious salad ingredients at my disposal, I wanted to pay homage to this most-varied-side-dish-or-meal by dedicating an entire post. Yes, to salad.

When I think of salad, the first thing that always comes to mind is an oversized silver bowl, filled with light green lettuce, chopped tomatoes, cucumbers, and maybe some peppers. Beside that silver bowl is a large beige container filled with either ranch, thousand island (bluurrrggh…sorry just threw up in my mouth a little bit), or Italian dressing. Apparently, I have spent too much of my life at church functions, potlucks, fundraisers, and school cafeterias. While these salad ingredients aren’t bad per say, it’s just that they can get a little…well (no offense Cukey), boring.

Sometime during my transition into adulthood, I started to realize that I actually like salad. More than I like dessert, if it’s made right (although, a decadent slice of chocolate mousse cake or a rich cream cheese dessert are desperately irreplaceable). While in childhood I would’ve turned my nose at putting cheese on salad, I now find that I rarely make a salad without it. In my college years (near the end, once I started eating outside of the cafeteria for once) I practically survived on the following meal: bed of spinach, cubed cheddar, soft delicious raisins, and honey-carmelized chicken. The biggest moment for me, when it comes to salad, happened a few years ago (or maybe just two?). I was eating a Panini at Belle’s restaurant (another post entirely…delish!), and I ordered their side house salad to go with.

Words cannot express to you how deeply my stomach churns for this salad, on a fortnightly basis (if I can even go that long without thinking about it). A bed of mixed greens (no watered down lettuce here folks!), and on it you have an assortment of fresh fruit (honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries), a perfect helping of feta cheese crumbles, and Currie roasted pecans. The kicker? Mango dressing. Their mango dressing is a light, powerfully tart & sweet concoction that tastes like…well…mangoes!

Devine, really. The whole thing.


Once I had that salad there was no turning back! From that day forward (is this beginning to sound like a wedding ceremony to anyone else?) I could not have salad without adding some feta, some nuts, or some fruit – and if I didn’t happen to have any of those things on hand, I’d lose my sunny disposition (at least internally) until I was finished. It just isn’t the same.

I got this picture from this website

Here’s a list of my favourite salad ingredients. The best part about salad? You can mix & match pretty much anything (and plenty of things I’ll forget to add) and you’d have a different salad each time!


Cheeses: (cubed, crumbled, shredded…any way is good!)
-Cheddar
-Marble
-Feta
(those are just my faves...there are a trillion more kinds of cheeses; I know I’m not doing this justice)

Nuts/Seeds: (added bonus/flavour if you roast them in your oven first!)
-pecans
-walnuts
-sunflower seeds
-slivered almonds (or whole)
-chick peas (for those that can handle eating them whole!)
-pine nuts
-peanuts, even!
(again, there are a trillion more kinds of nuts…)

Other Proteins:
-chicken
-shrimp (blech. If you like it)
-hard boiled eggs (yup, boil those bad boys, slice ‘em up & throw them on there!)
-turkey
-vegetarian? Have some tofu

Fruits**:
-apples (yes, apples! Bite size pieces everyone, be nice)
-blueberries
-cranberries (dried... or fresh if you like them that much!)
-raisins
-honeydew/cantaloupe (what else was the melon baller created for?)
-pomegranate seeds (a seriously delicious kick in the face)
-strawberries
-raspberries
-mandarin slices (best if canned & then drained – no skin & super juicy!)
-AVOCADO (yup, it’s a fruit!....right?)
(go wild with this one. Fruit is good.)

**a note about fruit in salad. This might seem like a foreign concept to many of you (maybe you’re in that group that also doesn’t like fruit – what!?!? – on pizza). Let me assure you, if you wanna add a healthy but delicious KICK to your meal, fruit in your salad is the way to go! It’s like a surprise with every bite.

My favourite combination that I’ve thought up so far: bed of greens, cubed ripened avocado, feta cheese, roasted pecans, mandarine slices, strawberries, dried cranberries. This ended up being so juicy that quite a few of us forgot to put dressing on! Needless to say, I was a big h….the salad was a big hit!


SALAD TIP: Going to a party? Wanna wow them with a salad? Bring the ingredients separately, except for the greens & other veggies. Keep everything separate (little bowls?) & let people organize the salad themselves – that way you don’t have to worry about allergies or taste preferences. And, since you brought “the salad”, you are likely to get all the credit when people like what they’re eating! (no need to remind them that really, they made it themselves) Nice work party goer!

SALAD TIP: add protein! Simple enough I suppose. Here’s why: protein keeps you from getting hungry (takes longer for your stomach to work on it). If you’re gonna do the “salad as an entire meal” make SURE you add a good amount of protein to your salad, otherwise you’ll burn through that thing in like an hour.

SALAD TIP: check out this website - or this website - both have a good supply of salad recipe ideas!

Okay enough is enough, this isn’t helping my grumbling stomach at all.